.jpg){kind=small}
My Story
I was born into a family of five children as fifth. My mother gave birth at the age of 44, so the kids around me thought she was my grandmother. My mother once told me she never wanted to have kids and
never wanted to get married.
My parents had a traditional division of labor, she raised the five kids, managed the household and basically the lives of six people. My dad was in charge of bringing home the money from the leased gas station. Most of the time he was on his own, never a day off, never on holiday for most of his life. On Sundays, when he took a short break, he was ashamed to go for a walk because then the neighbors could see he wasn’t working. He suffered from regular migraines and never took a single pain killer. My mother always said "your dad doesn't know so much, he didn't go to school for very long". Her behavior was characterized by her frustration and self-anger at feeling trapped in a life she never wanted. She blamed my father for her unlived life and for us as children. Harmony was very important to her, but that was only the outer layer of her inner distress. One can describe her as the emotional disruptor of the family, talking bad behind everyone’s back, playing her husband and kids off against each other. From the outside you would never have guessed what she was capable of, especially when reading the Sunday lecture in church. She was the friendliest person in public.
My father was very good at heart and a choleric patriarch with regular anger burst-outs, which I was never prepared for as a kid. One Sunday, I didn’t want to go to church, and he almost smashed my wooden bedroom door. Apart from his unpredictability, my dad was the person in the family who always had my back. Most of the qualities I value most in myself today, are the ones I learned from him.
I loved the way my dad grabbed my hand every time he sat next to me.
Communication in my family meant either not talking or yelling. Showing emotions that didn't conform to the expectations of an obedient child was not allowed. As a kid, I was told I had to behave or I wouldn't be loved.
Emotional and physical torchure was part of the parenting concept. I'll never forget how my head felt after I got slapped in the face, or how much my arm hurt when it was burnt by a hot iron. Or how I was bitten by the neighbor's Rottweiler and my mother apologized to the neighbor for my misbehavior.
In school I was the outsider. The degradation from home continued as bullying throughout my school life. After all, my mother was my closest person, especially as kid I considered her the smartest woman on earth. I tried to talk to her about how much it hurt me when school mates called me names, made fun of my ears and teeth, or chased me around the playground. She believed that I had done my part. I coped with developing an eating disorder.
I left home at 14 and never returned for more than a week. It was the first milestone out of that toxic environment.
In my late teens, I fell in love with my first girlfriend. Despite all these amazing feelings I struggled because me being gay was not part of the family-made life plan. When I came out to my mother, she sought help from the Catholics and tried to find a way to heal me from my lesbian illness. This marked the second milestone on the path to a life filled with self-love and joy. It was the first time I considered that something might be wrong with the family I was growing up in. Until then, I had never considered that my upbringing was any different from that of my schoolmates.
The next 20 years I spent on and off with my family of origin. I forged my own path, filled my desperate need for belonging and love with increasing abuse of alcohol, and learned what it actually means to break with the family rules. I got myself a new position as black family sheep, the spoiled, ungrateful lesbian brat who left her homeland for the enemy - Germany.
Perhaps you are still reading this and thinking: When will this tragic pattern finally transform into something beautiful and good? So, stay tuned.
First turning points were me quitting alcohol, leaving my one-sided partnership, starting therapy, freezing my eggs and beginning a second training course as Systemic Positive Coach.
The third milestone, the one I am most proud of, was the final break with my family of origin. When my daughter was born I was strong enough to take this step - a step my shrink wanted to prescribe for me, if she could.
And now here I am. Living my best life with the sweetest daughter, the loveliest two dogs, surrounded by people who care and a job, I really, really love. Consistently following my own path and setting boundaries have brought me closer to myself. I am becoming more and more the person I've always been. My life’s topic belonging will always stay, but it has evolved.
From my story, I've learned that it's not only possible to overcome difficult phases in life but also to grow from them; you "just" have to have the courage to follow your own star, no matter the consequences. I often wished that I had been born into a family where I am valued for being myself and where belonging and love were unconditional. At the same time, I would never have met my father.
When children grow up in an environment that teaches them that they're not right the way they are, and expects them to orient themselves towards others rather than themselves, we foster a world of insecure adults who fail to recognize their own potential and are their own harshest critic instead of their warm-hearted friend.
The purpose of my work today is to help others see their own light and encourage them to shine in order to succeed in what they truly love and get closer to the life they desire.
Thanks for reading my story.
We are shaped by our stories. They make us who we are today. What's your story? With sharing your story you will gain the trust of your audience and make your personal brand authentic, unique and relatable.
What makes a good story?
People read your story to the very end because they are caught within.
The story describes who you are on a second layer.
The story is relatable to your audience and serves the goals you want to achieve.
The story creates emotions while reading.
The story is memorable, so if someone from your audience is about to make a choice,
they will remember your services together with (or even because) of your story.
Personal storytelling is about sharing your experiences that have shaped you most. And these can be of all kinds. It is interesting for your audience to learn how you have evolved, dealt with challenges and overcame setbacks. Because it says a lot about who you are today.
Ready to share your story? Let's meet!
When building your personal brand with me we start at the beginning. Everyone has a story to tell. Let me help you find your voice and let's make your story into something your audience can relate to and connect with. Uniting your personal brand with your true self will make it authentic and unique. And maybe you also feel even more empowered by telling it to the world. Let’s begin with a first video call and find out if you feel positive about working with me. I can’t wait to meet you!
_ed.png)
Book your first chat with me. Let's see if we match and how I can bring value to you. The first call is on me.
45 minutes (free of cost)